30 weeks!

Today marks 30 weeks that Evan and I have been growing together. I always thought about Evan and how much he was growing and changing so much over these past 30 weeks. While he certainly has grown and changed a great deal, I think it may be me that has grown and changed the most thanks to my amazing little boy.

Sunday my sister, Abbey, took pictures of Evan and I with my family at Creve Couer park. She did an absolutely amazing job and I can't wait to share a few of those here. While I love every picture and every moment of that (incredibly hot :-) evening at the park taking pictures with my family, the fact that my sister called me Sunday morning sharing her idea and desire to take the pictures . . . to do this incredibly beautiful thing for me, my son and my family . . . meant so much to me. Being able to have my husband, daughter, mom, sister, her fiance and their sweet boy with me while we took pictures was very special.
Yesterday was a big day of appointments including an opportunity to see Evan, talk about our thoughts and feelings and prepare and plan for his birth. My husband, mom and I attended each of the appointments together. We had experienced an amazing ultrasound with a fantastic stenographer prior to our appointment yesterday so my expectations and hopes were high. Things did not go as I had hoped with the stenographer during the ultrasound yesterday. However, I realized that I could share all of that (that which does not matter and I will not allow to bother me any longer) here or I could share all of the incredibly amazing experiences we had and things we learned that we will remember and be grateful for forever. I opted for sharing the positive because that will always outweigh the negative for me any day.

Evan weighs 2 lbs 14 oz! He has grown a pound and a half since our last ultrasound on June 6th. My big boy!! :-) He is so active and so strong. He has the most beautiful little face, arms, hands, tummy, legs, and feet. We were able to get pictures of him on a cd again and one printed picture of his beautiful face. I just want to and can't wait to kiss his little face and body all over. I am so incredibly hopeful that we will see him kick with all the might he is kicking with now. The doctors continue to confirm his diagnosis although every time I look to see any signs of anen I find that I cannot see it at all. Of course I'm not a doctor but I also believe I don't see it because I'm his mother and while I think I'm looking for it the truth is I really can't keep my eyes off his beautiful eyes, nose, mouth, chin, and arms/hands that are resting behind his head. His heartbeat sounded beautiful and strong. I fell in deeper love with my son all over again yesterday.

We met an amazing woman who took all the time we needed to talk to us about our thoughts and feelings, share information about what she and the heart prints program can provide and provided us the empathy, understanding, validation and support we needed. She will provide advocacy and support for us now, until Evan is born and during our stay. In addition, she will be a resource for us after we have been discharged. She introduced us to another amazing woman who also provided support and offered her ongoing services and support to us. Amazing women doing amazing work. We are grateful for them.

We had the opportunity to meet with an talk to a neonatologist who answered our questions and provided a great deal of information that will allow my husband and I to make incredibly important decisions about Evan's care. He also provided information that will help us feel empowered during our stay as did the incredible NICU nurse who talked with us and gave us a tour of the NICU. We learned about an amazing room they will have available to us that appears much more like a family room than a hospital room. There are no hospital beds, medical devices, etc. A beautifully decorated room with comfortable seating, lighting, lots of books, toys and games and a pull out couch. A room where my husband, daughter, son and I can spend time together as a family. This room was the last stop in our busy day. It was a perfect way for us to end our day with a nurse that provided genuine comfort and support. I can't begin to express how incredibly grateful I am for this room. For a beautiful room where my daughter can feel safe and comfortable and our family can be together sharing precious time and creating precious memories.