No more "doom and gloom" for us!

I wasn't sure how I was going to respond to the first person that asked me about my pregnancy. It was inevitable and I knew this. I feared that I would have an overwhelming desire or expectation to explain everything. I figured everyone would know that there was something wrong and I had to assure them that although there is, both myself and my son will be ok (I prayed this would be true). I thought about all of the children I have worked with who have experienced traumatic events and have shared similar fears . . . avoid it, avoid everyone so I don't have to talk about it . . . everyone knows everything terrible about me/my situation just by looking at me . . . everyone will pity me (yuck!) . . . and on and on. I thought about what I have shared with them and the incredible strength and courage they have shown and how they have grown throughout treatment. I realized that I too have a right not to live in this "doom and gloom" . . . that I could quite possibly survive this trial and become closer to God, my son, Rory, my daughter, and my family every step of the way. It felt like the excitement and overwhelming happiness that was once my pregnancy was taken from me the day we found out about our son's fatal diagnosis. I decided that I was going to take it back. I know it doesn't (and hasn't) happen(ed) over night and I certainly don't expect it to but with God's help and the continued support of my family and friends I will release the "doom and gloom" and embrace every moment with my son for as long as I have left with him here on earth. This is the day I decided to start creating my blog, started journaling in my pregnancy journal again, and talked to my husband about a name for our son.
Shortly after, a client, her mother and grandmother asked me how far along I am and if I knew what I was having. They were genuine and excited to learn. I proudly smiled and informed them that I am 22 weeks and I am having a boy, a sweet baby boy. It felt wonderful and I was so grateful for that moment.