Beautiful Life, Indescribable Love

While some days, moments are more difficult than others one thing remains so true . . . I have been so blessed. I enjoy writing. I especially enjoy sharing about my sweet Evan. However, for some reason I am having such a difficult time putting the wealth of thoughts and feelings I am experiencing into words.

I remember feeling guilty shortly after learning of Evan's diagnosis because I started thinking about the possibility of having another child. A child without anencephaly. Would this be possible? Common response, I think. Fairly quickly (and gratefully) this became much less important and the bond I developed with Evan consumed any guilt I had experienced and/or thoughts of future pregnancy. Now, while I am so incredibly grateful for Evan's beautiful 9 months and 53 minutes of life I find myself only wishing to be pregnant with Evan again or having the opportunity to relive those beautiful 12 hours I held him in my arms or both. The love and bond we shared during his beautiful life is indescribable and I miss him so much.

I experience peace in knowing that we continue to share a deep love and precious bond through God's love.

"Those we love are with the Lord and the Lord has promised to be with us. If they are with Him and He is with us, they cannot be far away." ~ Peter Marshall 

I miss him. I miss him terribly but I can tell you that the joy of remembering my sweet boy's beautiful face, arms, hands, fingers, feet, toes, body . . . his precious scent . . . the kisses I was able to give him and time we spent with him is beyond words.