Earlier today, while enjoying some Just Dance Kids with my daughter on the Wii she says to me "mommy, I think Evan knows we're dancing now." As we continue dancing and I admire her sweet sincerity, I tell her that I completely agree. She then tells me that she thinks Evan is so special and because of that he sees us sometimes . . . she then adds that she believes he is always with us.

I'm not exactly sure what my husband and I did to deserve the magic of having not one but two amazing babies but boy have we been blessed. The truth is having struggled with what and how to tell our daughter as she continues on this journey along with us has remained a challenge at times . . . at other times, it seems unusually easy.

While it seems so easy to simply tell her that her brother is in heaven I have been hesitant to do so due to the fact that we hadn't talked about heaven much before learning of Evan's diagnosis and/or his passing. Therefore, I have always worried that she might think heaven is a place we can visit. A place such as her favorite places to play, shop, eat, etc. Thus, we have chosen the explanation that is also very true . . . our sweet boy has passed away and will always be in our hearts. On her own and I believe through God's love and guidance, she has begun discovering the rest. She already has and I know will continue to enlighten me and will more than likely teach me more about heaven and her little brother than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful.

Today, I received an email from a family friend. She shared this poem with me:

"As a butterfly graces our lives with one moment's fragile beauty, so too has your baby's presence blessed you, and those that surround you with their short life, and unique spirit. May you find peace, and joy with each butterfly that passes, knowing that your baby lives on in the hearts of all they touched." Thank you, Elke.

 

Evan has certainly touched all of us and will forever live on in our hearts.