Our Sweet Evan's Birth

Evan's story starts long ago when his father and I created him through our love and commitment to one another. His story continues for an eternity because he will always be so very deeply loved and remembered.

This is the story of his birth and his birthday and oh what a glorious day it was.

My husband and I entered the hospital on Tuesday, August 30th at approximately 9:45pm. We settled in my labor and delivery room shortly after and I was given an IV and put on monitors. From this point forward we were able to hear Evan's heartbeat and his every move. Throughout our stay he had the hiccups three times and let me tell you that hearing his hiccups was just as precious as feeling them if not more so because I got to experience both at the same time. What a blessing.

At approximately 11:45pm the doctor completed a sonogram of our most beautiful boy and began the induction by giving me Cervidil. Rory, Evan and I slept through the night. Although, I woke often to hear our beautiful boys heartbeat. Never having had the chance to listen to his heartbeat for more than 2-3 minutes at one time made it incredibly difficult for me to sleep. Of course, I had to lie there listening to the most beautiful sound, the most precious gift.

We received a visit from my doctor on Wednesday morning, August 31st. The Cervidil had started the process and it was time for Pitocin. Several hours passed and I was making little progress. My doctor visited again Wednesday afternoon and I must say we were all a little pessimistic about the induction progress. We were however very pleased and over joyed at the strength our little man maintained throughout the entire process. Praise be to God.

During Wednesday evening my progress took a turn and the contractions began full force. I had an epidural that worked for the right side of my body but not the left. To no avail the epidural had to be removed and replaced by another. Evan, our little warrior, hung on and stayed so strong through it all. In my weakest moments throughout labor God and my little baby boy were giving me the strength to be strong. It was also a blessing to have my incredible husband our our amazing family there with us through it all. The support we had during this time was unbelievable.

It seemed that my progress moved so fast towards the end. By Thursday morning, September 1st, I was told that Evan would be arriving within hours ... maybe an hour. My doctor arrived and prepared me to push. I pushed once for her and my water broke. I had so much excess fluid by that time (I was told it had begun increasing quickly 1-2 weeks earlier). For a second I thought Evan had been born. My doctor and I laughed a little because I think she was a little startled too. Next push, my sweet boys entrance began and one more push later he was born into our loving arms at 8:59am. My husband followed him wherever he went in our hospital room staying close by to embrace and admire our son. The NICU physician confirmed that Evan was hanging on but we knew it wouldn't be long.

My husband handed me our precious boy and I began telling him everything I could possibly have dreamed of wanting him to know again but this time face to face with me looking into the most beautiful face. It was an indescribable moment. A moment that I will never forget. My husband and I held each other as we held our son. We knew we had an extremely anxious and excited big sister waiting to meet her baby brother so my husband got my mom and daughter who came to our room to meet our gorgeous boy. Not knowing exactly what to expect myself I have to tell you that once again my children continue to teach me about the most important things in life. Our daughter entered the room, took one look at her baby brother and fell in love. She is so proud of him and as she admired him with such peace and love she instructed everyone who entered next to look at him while describing how delicate and beautiful he is. She continued describing him, his beauty to everyone and had a very difficult time letting go as she wasn't ready to share with the others just yet. After she held her sweet brother approximately 5 times :-) she went for a walk with family but stayed close by.

The room was filled with peace, extreme joy, beauty, the scent of our sweet baby, indescribable love and then 54 minutes after our son was born I believe while all of these things continued to exist they became stronger as Evan's beautiful angels began their decent to carry our sweet boy to meet our Heavenly Father. While Evan's beautiful, perfect body remained in our arms his spirit was beginning the journey to the most incredible place . . . to heaven.

We had the honor and privilege of spending 12 incredible hours with our son on his birthday. During this time we continued to enjoy and express our gratitude for having been blessed with the opportunity to hold an angel. To hold our Evan, our sweet angel baby. We admired each and every incredibly chubby finger and toe, his adorable big hands and cutest little feet, sweet chubby legs and arms, perfect little bottom, tummy and chest all the way up to his sweet chin, perfectly kissable lips and button nose, his beautiful eyes and precious little head. While all of this kept me in amazement for hours, this little bundle of joy was so much more . . . he is and always will be an incredible gift from God and a blessing to our family.

While I am grateful and praise God for the opportunity to wake up every day to my beautiful daughter, wonderful husband and our family I am also very grateful that a piece of me is in heaven with my sweet boy. I believe with all of my heart that Evan has a piece of his mommy in heaven with him today and while I know I will never forget my beautiful boy I beg of God that my little boy will always have a piece of me in heaven. I will continue to praise God for and embrace the beautiful peace and incredible joy of being on earth with my precious daughter, husband, and our amazing family and friends but I am also prepared and for the first time completely fearless of death as I will also be grateful for the day God calls me home and I can once again kiss the most beautiful lips of my precious baby boy. Oh God how I miss those lips, that face his body and all the love we shared in 54 beautiful minutes.

I smell my sweet angel from time to time. The most beautiful scent. I know he is with us and I know that our love will continue to grow because he is with me and in my heart forever.

September 1, 2011 8:59am. Happy Birthday my beautiful angel baby, Evan. Mommy loves you and my love will follow you wherever you may go. Enjoy heaven sweet baby. Visit me in my dreams. And please know sweet boy that mommy cries because I miss you. Mommy feels so much peace and comfort too because I'm so happy you are at peace, full of love and in God's hands. All my love always and forever sweet Evan. May God be with us always.